How do I know it will work for me?

The only way is to try it. It'll probably work well but don't think that it will always be the most wonderful event of your life. But if you like it enough first time, you may want to try it again and experiment. A very experienced client once told us 'see an escort when you're happy, not when you're lonely'. We think that's good advice. It's after all a business deal and the escort is selling you his time and his company not a relationship. But as an American once said 'money can't buy you love, but all the rest is negotiable'! Here are a few things it's good to think about before you start.

What will I get for my money?

Legally speaking the escort is giving you his time in exchange for a fee and what happens during that time is between two consenting adults. You should talk to your chosen guy beforehand and agree with him what's really important to you. If he's cagey about discussing things on the phone, or is hesitant about what you ask, we suggest you look elsewhere. Contacting a guy via e-mail is also a good way of discussing your needs. Only go ahead if you're sure. Most bad experiences between escorts and clients are due to failed expectations and nasty surprises.

What should I say when I ring him up?

It's always a good idea to give a name and ask if it's convenient to talk. He may not want to say much if he's in supermarket or at home with his mum! Even if you have seen an advert giving his details, it's worth checking these with him quickly. Then come to the point and say what you are looking for: ask what he charges and his availability. Escorts find it very irritating to be asked the same highly personal question over and over again. If you want to see him, sort out a time and location and fee. If you are not sure, say that you would like to think about it and will ring him back if you want to go ahead. If the escort is too pressing, abrupt or rude in any way, we suggest you look elsewhere. But clients need to be polite too!

We think seeing an escort is very safe providing you choose someone who's advertising. Don't pick up 'rent boys' off the street or in pubs. If the guy is coming to your home for the first time, treat him like any stranger in your home - just be sensible, don't leave valuables lying around etc. If you've got a close friend who knows what you're doing, tell him or her when you're intending to see someone and where you will be meeting. AME will take action against any escorts or clients who behave in an irresponsible or threatening way.

Blackmail used to be feared by all clients but there's little risk now. The escort has probably much more to lose than you have. If your escort is visiting you, you'll have to give him enough information to find you. Otherwise keep your personal details to a necessary minimum.

We would be naive to think that escorting is only about going out for a candle lit dinner! All escorts and their clients need to be aware of the risks of unprotected sex (sex without a condom). If an escort is offering bareback sex, just think what the consequences could be first. AME believes that all escorts should practise safe sex and should never agree to do anything unsafe even if more money is offered. Some escorts will only give oral sex if the client wears a condom. If this is an issue for you, check with him first. Always use strong condoms and plenty of lubricant for anal sex. But remember anal sex is not always offered, so check first.

It shouldn't be. Tell the escort your age (no fibbing) and see what he says. Also if you're disabled or have any special requests, talk about it first. Escorts who are professional about their work should not be concerned about the age of their clients. However, they appreciate clients who are clean and don't stink of alcohol, garlic or tobacco.

Most of the adverts will give you a pretty good idea of what the guy is like. Many guys understate their age and may exaggerate other features. Certainly adverts with photos help a lot but you have to trust your judgement when you talk to him on the phone about whether you will like him. If you are in any doubt, look somewhere else. You're not likely to find your ideal first time. This is a commercial relationship and not a friendship. Tune into and enjoy what he's offering, rather than try and turn him into one of your fantasies.

If he has seriously misled you in any way, you have a perfect right just to leave and not pay. Some escorts allow you to show up and leave without paying if you're not satisfied with the way they look. But they are the minority. Most would expect you to pay something even if you don't want to go through with it. If you're really worried about this, talk to him about it before you meet.

Obviously on the web and the best ones in the UK & London are on www.absolute-male-escorts.com Choose your location from the search menu above. You'll also find adverts in the monthly publications in most pubs, bars and clubs. Some publications are free and others can be purchased from local newsagents. Most of these magazines have photos and are often explicit. Gaydar advertises escorts on its website and has a client/escort chat channel. But be aware that some of these guys are not too serious about working, some work very infrequently and a few are just looking for sex with guys their own age. Many escorts now have their own web sites but finding them is not always easy. For a good source of escorts' own web sites see the links / Escorts home pages on the main menu.

Agencies say they vet the guys working for them and only employ attractive guys who give a good service. Some do this well, but others employ almost anyone who contacts them. If you phone an agency, make sure you know exactly what it will cost you and always ask to talk to the escort yourself first. You will probably pay much more than if your hire an escort yourself.

This varies quite a lot. If you hire an escort via an agency it can cost over £200 + cab fares for a guy to visit you at your home or hotel. If you visit an escort who works for himself at his place you will probably be charged at least £100 for about one hour. Some guys are charging more than this. You need to find out where the guy lives and what sort of place he has - is he on his own? Is it a decent place, etc.? How do you get there? If you end up having to get a cab, think of the cost, there and back. We think the guy should give you his address before you set out. Some ask you to go to a particular place and then phone again. Although this protects the guy from time wasters we have heard of clients traveling a long way, ringing again and getting no answer. If this worries you, negotiate other arrangements first.

For an escort to visit you, it will cost more, depending on time of day, location etc. Some now want £140 + travel costs for an hour. Avoid guys who are vague about what they charge. Also be careful of guys who want to come by black cab and charge you the fare. If he insists on taxi, he should take a minicab. But find out the cost first and agree an amount.